Hard-driving? Pushing yourself? Feeling pressure? It’s time to rest and play…

“These are the days it never rains but it pours…”

David Bowie and Freddy Mercury were right (in their song, “Under Pressure”). It’s well-known (and tolerated!) that the pace of life is harsh and keeps speeding up all the time. Shorter deadlines, worse traffic, even-less sleep, and relentless changes—political, cultural, and technological—all add to the intensity.

This always-connected, always-on 21st Century world is one in which the very pace of change keeps increasing. Social media has created so many new channels of communication that generate new demands on both our energy and emotions. It pretty much exhausts me, even just contemplating this.

Then there is the grueling pace and amount of time we spend at work to consider, too. My client, Lissane, striving to be all things to all people while at the same time keeping her consulting business powered up and going full out, got a deer-in-the-headlights look when I asked her what she does for fun. “I work,” she said. Yes, she enjoys her work. But what was so telling was, she didn’t have a real answer to my question—she doesn’t have a single pastime or passion outside of work, for the fun of it.

The Fallout

The fallout of this way of living can be felt in so many different ways. We experience the knot in the stomach, information overload, the daunting prospect of learning how yet one more new tech gadget works (in my case, the new Roomba, still in its box after a month), and sometimes a sense of “overwhelm” –when that one last thing tips us over into a highly-stressed state. Sleep suffers. We have been called the chronically sleep-deprived nation.

Sometimes, we get sick as a result of this stress and pressure-filled life. Or it hits us very hard, as in, “I’ve pushed and pushed to the point that I’m missing out on my family life. I’ve missed so many of my son’s games!” Or worse, as in, “I wish I had spent more time with Dad. Now he’s gone.” Very, very hard.

The Fix

How do we slow down, take a breath, and enjoy life more—right now? For starters, we can think about ways to simplify things and gain traction at work with tiny changes, like checking messages once at the beginning of the work day and then at noon, and at the day’s end, vs. the very second we wake up and throughout the morning and afternoon. Make small gestures of self-kindness, like carving out some time for self-care. Try giving ourselves permission to respond with a well-considered and carefully worded NO to some of the requests (and demands) for our time and energy.

After slowing down a bit, being a little more present in our lives, we can take up this challenge: Both resting well and playing well are perhaps the most important thing we can do. These two practices have been advised by some of the wisest people.

PLAY is one antidote for the stressed life; and it is just as important as WORK. In fact it may be critical for creative and productive work. SLEEP, good quality sleep, is the other antidote for high-paced, super-intense living. Another thought, playing hard will help us sleep better, quite possibly! And, full circle: a great night’s sleep can give us the energy that might make work more enjoyable, maybe even more playful.

One of my heroes, the very funny and wise Martha Beck, treats sleep and play as a single, interrelated subject and a very serious one, at that. Similarly, her notion of work feels more like passionate play to me. Martha’s Zen koan-like offering on the subject is one that can open our thinking and help unravel a greater truth:

“My advice to you is to play until you feel like sleeping, and then
remember to SLEEP UNTIL YOU FEEL LIKE PLAYING. Without both
sides of the equation, the profoundly innovative things that are
meant to come through your creativity can’t be realized as fully
or as quickly.”

I was reminded of this truth recently—that REST AND PLAY both are vitally important. My friend Kerry was finally able to leave her soul-sucking, energy-draining, stress-inducing corporate job, working as an executive for a giant corporation in the food industry… and she is now in her 4th month of recovery, as we are calling it.

Kerry’s process of recovery includes many naps, morning bike rides every day in the gorgeous outskirts of Boulder, Colorado, and she walks the labyrinth at a nearby church. She’s on a mission to build a different kind of life and creatively optimize it as best as possible. Her dedication is paying off: she is feeling better than she has in a long, long time. Everything she is doing is an expression of her genuine self. Her fledgling catering business is starting to take off. She has time to visit old friends and relatives around the country. Even take a leisurely vacation.

What About You?

Not everyone can leave a job, as much as that might be desired—but we CAN begin to put into action Martha Beck’s advice. She makes it sound so simple, and in a sense it is. Yet… schedules seem rigidly fixed. There is so much to do, and not enough time.

So, what are the immediate and intermediate steps to getting there? The short answer is: prioritization. Put self-care (and family time if that’s missing) back on the to-do list and make time on the calendar. Treat these as must-do’s. Let a few non-urgent things drop off the calendar and fall into the Bottom Drawer.

John, a mentor of mine, told me once that he practices the Bottom Drawer Approach to Time Management. When I asked about this, he told me, very seriously, “The less urgent projects and tasks that I consider to be ‘C’s are stashed out of sight. I will get to them. Or I won’t. Very often, those I don’t get to… just go away. They’ve become OBE, or ‘overcome by events’ by the time I get to them!” He meant that changing conditions had made the ‘C’ tasks irrelevant. I never forgot that, have used the Bottom Drawer strategy to good effect, and it’s never gotten me in trouble once!

Slow and steady, small-yet-incremental changes from using strategies like prioritization will add up.

The more far-reaching approach is to rethink what PLAY and SLEEP mean.

Play… Ask yourself, “What is that one thing I’ve been wanting to try?” Painting classes? Learning a new dance step? These subtle longings and curiosities might just hold the answer to the Play question. A benefit to learning new skills, when engaging in something called deep practice with “right brain” engaging activities, is an increased potential for creativity. (And sleep is very important in this, too!)

You can also ask yourself, “What did I love to do when I was 7 or 8 years old?” Maybe your answer holds some keys to creating a more playful life. You loved to swim and play in the water? Join a gym that has a pool and offers pool-related activities. Or, you spent many happy hours on your bike? Or, like me, on horseback? Take your cue from these memories and create new fun.

Sleep…

Ask yourself, “How can I best improve my sleep?” Inquire into your own habits. Where can you tweak things just a little, to better your sleep? (Check out my state-of-the-science tips to optimize your sleep, below.) Sometimes, small adjustments will make a big difference, or even a paradigm shift.

Thanks to Kerry and Martha, as I’ve rethought this issue, I’ve paradigm-shifted it: it’s become clear to me that we’re never too old, that… Napping and playing aren’t just for kids.

Advice from Martha shared in this article is from: http://marthabeck.com/2011/03/keeping-those-creative-juices-flowing/. For some more playful advice and a giggle-out-loud read, see her blog post at: http://marthabeck.com/2009/08/the-adequate-sleep-life-enhancing-experimental-project/. To learn more about how the brain is restructured through deep practice and sleep, see Martha’s article, http://marthabeck.com/2011/10/turn-on-your-right-brain/.